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Acrophobe

by Paul Roub

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1.
(free) 03:21
2.
(free) 05:34
3.
(free) 05:39
4.
(free) 06:47
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(free) 05:05
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(free) 05:52
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(free) 05:23
8.
(free) 02:49
9.
(free) 07:08

about

Consider it a live show minus the audience.

A live show on a really good night.

credits

released 16 April 2010

Paul Roub - Guitar and Vocals
Recorded by Mark Rubel at Pogo Studio
Mastered by Jon Schoenoff

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Track Name: Disappear
I was on the grassy knoll
Watching through my telescope
That's all it was, a telescope, I swear
Monday night I dreamt I missed you
Doubled back and tried to kiss you
Then I jumped down on the tracks
Closed my eyes, turned my back, said

CHORUS
I know a little trick
To make myself disappear
I used it once before
That's how I ended up here, oh
I disappear, disappear

By now I'm just an anecdote
A loser story that you tell
Probably not so often or so well
I never meant to cause you pain
Next time I'll say that again
Mean it every time I say it
No one ever learns, let's face it

CHORUS

I should celebrate
Escaping with my life
When now I don't remember what you stole
I could, but it's too late
For looking over my shoulder
I'm too busy getting older
And I don't want to pay that toll

Underneath the microscope
I wouldn't hold up very long
Face it now, I've never been that strong
You're flat-out out of your mind
And I'm so tired of being kind
Sorry 'bout the mess from moving
Nothing's left that's worth improving

CHORUS
Track Name: The Great Unknown
When you wake up in the morning
With blood under your nails and eyes upon you
I won't say I told you
And if you wake to find yourself
Looking up at someone else inside you
I won't remind you

That you said "Never again, never again"

CHORUS
Won't you race me to the great unknown?
A place I've never been, never seen, never heard of
Won't you race me to the great unknown?
And if you win the race, save me a place
Unless he looks like Tony Curtis and treats you right.

Now it's time to let you go
I grit my teeth, we both know you'll say something
To ruin everything
And as the words run screaming from your mouth
Can't you feel it getting harder, and harder
And harder, and harder, oh

Never again, never again

CHORUS

You left me nothing
Oh, what have I got except my name?
You left me nothing
Nothing but the blame

"Betrayal's" such an ugly word
Let's just call it "moving on", a white lie
Among friends
And if one day I overheard
You're somewhere doing nothing I'll speak kindly, a white lie
Among friends

Never again, Never again

CHORUS

Won't you race me to...
I'll race you, too.
Track Name: A Little Bit Wiser
He's been cruel and he's been vacant
He's been anything but kind
And you've never tried so hard in all your life.
Pretty sure he's been taken, but you need a bit more time
To hold him hard and say you're still his wife.

You believe enough for everybody
Bite your lip and chin up, but he
Just can't see

CHORUS
Turn around, turn away
Reach for the surprise or
For yourself, for someone
Like you just a little bit wiser, and
Wake up, wake up
Not gonna sit around and listen you're
Not gonna sit around and listen, no
You're not going to sit and listen no more...

He's been gone seven cold, dead weeks
And you turn to where he'd be
Then hold yourself and shudder at the sight
Of the bed, of the folded sheets
The mattress you can't see (yourself)
Sleeping on so much as one more night.

You grab a beer and breathe your air in
Spend an hour standing, staring
Straight ahead

He offers his bribes up to God
Oh give me everything I swear
I'll be happy, I'll be good and I'll be
Oh so very kind
Swear I'll try to be kind

He's been good with the kids and
The last two Halloweens
You let him hand out candy at your door.
There's a frame on the nightstand
In it you're sixteen
It's true, you've seen it all stretched out before.

You stretch your legs and watch the ceiling
Happy not to name the feeling
Just to be
Track Name: Mind of its Own
If I told you right here
That I need you right now
Would you think just a little bit less of me?
And would you come on, anyhow?
And if you ask me what I'm doing here
And I have to say "I don't know"
What a shock if I said I could live with that
For tonight, so let's go

CHORUS
Could have sworn life was fine
But I should have seen the signs
My heart has got a mind of its own
Needed more, but at the time
The idea wasn't mine
My heart has got a mind of its own

And I'm oh, so, tired
'Cause I haven't slept for days
And I haven't said one thing worth listening to
And you haven't run away
So whatever's going on here
Well I won't get in the way
Just this once I'm going to take it for what it is
Pull you close, and say

CHORUS

Here's what's going to happen tonight
No, forget it, I don't have a clue
If you want to do nothing
That's just what we'll do
Just as long as I'm here with you
And I am here with you

CHORUS
Track Name: Optional
I'm optional
Never thought I'd be
Replaceable
And still not want to leave

But once
You were warm
You were bright
Like the sun
and oh man, oh man, you're beautiful
Inevitable

CHORUS
I'll love you forever
I've loved you for years
I'll love you to pieces
I'll love you to tears

I'm finding out
What I need to be
Alone and not alone
Ready to believe

And if
I could talk
You could hear
I could sing

I'm here, I'm here in front of you
It's possible


CHORUS

Patience
Silence
Take so much time
That's me there quiet
That's me there waiting
One day
I might
Leave it all behind
If you stay closed tight
And push off just right

You're in the air
I'm tethered to the ground
A dot somewhere
Too distant to be found

The back
Of your mind
Is a sad
Place to find
Myself, my life, my everything
Or anything
Track Name: Lips and Logic
Don't talk so fast, I can not breathe
And I've known you long enough to know
You'll speak your last, and then you'll leave
And I can't stand to see you go

So for now keep talking
Won't you please keep talking?

I'm not so sure, I'm not so sure
It was not all just in my head
Me on the floor, I watched and adored
As you cut out pictures on the bed

You were always laughing
You were always laughing

CHORUS
But oh, these words, these tokens
These scribbled postcards from the life we knew
The promise that lay broken
Somehow we'd find a way to see it through
And you, all lips and logic
Still captivate me like you always do
My body may get restless...
But my heart knows only you

You think of me... you think of me
Well what does that mean to me now?
See, I never wanted to be your fond memory
Or wish myself back there, somehow

But what was that you're saying?
Sweet things you were saying...

CHORUS

We have memories like a scrapbook of the moments
We turn to when we need to believe
Once in our whole life, there was perfection
Once we had all we could ever need...

CHORUS

You'll speak your last, and then you'll leave
And I can't stand to see you go.
Track Name: Room to Breathe
Phone calls... flowers
I wondered for hours
Just a mistake?
Or ten years too late?

Suddenly, you see so clearly
Everything you never said
Everything you should have seen but
Turned away instead

CHORUS
What if you had asked me
What if I was wrong?
What if you had blocked the door and begged me please
To carry on?
What if you gave 1-2-3-20 reasons
Why I shouldn't leave?
You couldn't push these walls apart far enough
To give me room to breathe

Sorry, shamefaced
Lonely and disgraced
But you'll change, just wait
Ten years too late

Once upon a time you sparkled
Like no one I'd ever met
Now that spark's a dim reflection
Of the TV set...

CHORUS

All those flowers
Dried up in hours
Not me, held on
Ten years too long

CHORUS
Track Name: One Man at Best
One man at best, less than the rest
And I'm not quite whole
Back through the cracks, you can relax
It's just like I

Told you I'm hollow now
Easy to follow, how
Silly of me to be here

Frozen and numb, two kinds of dumb
And I'm sad we spoke
Starting today, I'm in the way
Now that I'm just

Broken, just broken, oh
Now you're awoken so
I'll let myself out the back

More of the same, shook off my name
And I'm out of mind
Still as a stone, decent, alone
And I'm sure you're

Kind not to laugh as you
Mark off the half, and who
Was that old man anyway?

Curiosity's nothing to
A fool's wishful thinking
One quickly kills you
The other hangs on
I'll stop the trusting and
Get back to rusting and
Try not to make a sound
You won't even know I'm around
Track Name: Closer
My life had been so
Life had been so cold
I never thought I'd
Never thought I'd know
The bite of love again
The pulse of passion
Or the thrill of knowing nothing

Hold me closer, kiss me longer
Than you ever thought you should
Hold me harder, kiss me softer
Than I ever hoped you would... you would

It took so long to
Took so long to make me see you
I tried so hard to
Push you far away
The thought of what I tried
My head, it tried to kill my heart
To save my freedom

Hold me closer, kiss me longer
Than you ever thought you should
Hold me harder, kiss me softer
Than I ever hoped you would
And oh, I
I'll never turn away from you

After all this
After all this... time
We finally found our
Finally found our home
The one I threw away
The one you never had
But always heard of

Hold me closer, kiss me longer
Than you ever thought you should
Hold me harder, kiss me softer
Than I ever hoped you would
And oh, I
I'll never turn away...